Ocean in the Sea Read online

  “Don’t worry about what you can’t tell me, Lewis,” she told him over the screen. “I understand what an NDA is. What you need to focus on is your feelings. How do you feel about the new people you’re interacting with? Have you been able to establish a rapport with them? Do you feel like you’ve appeared abnormal to them?”

  “I’ve been careful to appear normal,” he replied. He brushed his hair back. “But I feel very… exposed. They knew, they know, everything about me. I know only what they’ve told me, and I’m not sure if what they’re doing is… well… morally justified.”

  “You’re a good man.” She smiled at him confidently. “Make the decisions your decisions, not someone else’s. What other people want of you isn’t always in your best interest, or in the best interest of anyone else. Factor that in. Use it as a background.”

  Lewis paused and pinched his lips. “Have you ever heard of a story where the characters write the plot and not the author?”

  “No.” She shook her head, maintaining an interested half-smile. “Why?”

  “Someone mentioned it to me yesterday. I’m not exactly sure what they were getting at. What do you think it might mean?”

  Ezra put a finger on her lip and looked up. “It’s probably an analogy for destiny or fate - however you want to put it. Some religions espouse the belief that everything is predestined to occur a specific way. You know, that God has a plan. Other people believe that nothing is predestined. Most of us don’t concern ourselves with the concept at all. It seems you’ve encountered a philosopher, Lewis.”

  “I’m not sure that’s what he is.” Lewis frowned. “He’s certainly strange.”

  “People are usually strange until you get to know them. And sometimes they’re strange afterwards. You appear normal until someone gets to know you.”

  “Unless they already know me.”

  “Reading about a person isn’t knowing someone. This man may think he has you pegged, but Lewis Herman is anything but simple. You have talents and skills other people don’t. Remember that. Most people can’t learn as fast as you, and they can’t analyze information with your perspective. A lot of people fall into their work and it becomes part of them, but you can reach the same level of understanding while still keeping your objectivity. That’s your leverage. Use it.”

  “I have no choice.”

  “No. I know you don’t. But that’s not a bad thing. It’s who you are.”

  “But I don’t want to be me.”

  Ezra leaned back and blew a strand of hair from her face. Her nose wrinkled and her brow dropped. “You’ve made great progress. Don’t forget that. You signed a contract. I’m holding you to it. If you can’t cope, I’ll arrange to up your meds.”

  Looking away, Lewis scratched his earlobe and rubbed his eyes. Ezra could be a bitch when she thought it was more effective, like she’d studied under Pavlov. “I’m not thinking about killing myself.”

  Ezra stared sternly through the screen. “How have you been sleeping?”

  “Not well. The time change was bad enough, and the amount of information I’ve absorbed has kept my brain active. And the work has… it’s put me in an odd position. I’m trying not to obsess over it, but it isn’t easy.”

  “Are they doing something illegal?”

  Lewis rubbed his eyes. “I don’t think it matters. It’s not just an NDA. I’ve signed a slew of threatening documents preventing me from disclosing anything. There’s nothing I can do that won’t get me into trouble with the government.”

  “Have you talked with Sanford and Wright about it?”

  He suddenly remembered what Graves had said about watching what he said or did on the internet. Shit. “No. I probably shouldn’t even be talking with you. Forget I mentioned it. Seriously.”

  “We have patient/client privilege.”

  “I doubt that would matter to them.”

  “Alright. Let’s keep it simple. Other than Mister Philosophy, have you met anyone else? Any girls you’re interested in?”

  Lewis shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “Maybe… There are some attractive women here. Should I describe them to you?” As Lewis expected, she smiled at that. Ezra preferred women.

  “Any girl in particular?”

  “No one that would be interested in me. They’re doctors.”

  “This isn’t the nineteen hundreds, Lewis. Doctors get lonely just like everyone else.”

  “You know I’m not good with… the approach,” he muttered, looking away. “I’m fine until it falls outside a social schema.” Small talk was an enemy Lewis preferred to flank.

  “Bullshit. I know you can do this. Ask her questions and listen to the answers. Ask questions about the answers. People love to talk about themselves. And be interested in the answers, Lewis. Keep eye contact, don’t stare at the floor.”

  “I find it difficult to keep eye contact with someone I’m attracted to and still retain the capacity to think rationally.”

  “Practice.”

  “I never practiced with Brenda.”

  “You knew Brenda. Now you have to learn someone else. Give me a name. Which of the girls you’ve met so far are you most likely to date?”

  “Date?” He curled his upper lip. She had to be kidding. As if he’d go on a date. Reluctantly, he spoke the words. “Doctor Aoka.”

  “What’s her first name?”

  “Kaya.”

  “Alright. Here’s a little project for you. I want you to ask Kaya on a date. I’ll give you two weeks. I don’t care if the date is good or bad, or if she refuses, but I want you to ask her out.”

  “I don’t want to go on a date,” he snapped.

  “Yes you do.”

  He blanched and clenched his fist. “Good God… No pressure, Ezra. I’ve got enough on my plate dealing with this job. Don’t dump more stress on me.”

  On the computer screen, Ezra pointed to her face. “This is me not caring, Lewis. The number of shits I give is zero. Ask her out. That’s a direct order, and then I want a full empathy report. You’ve got the forms.”

  “Let’s skip the date.”

  “You’re an adult male who hasn’t had sex in over a year. Are you going to tell me that’s not affecting your work? I’m sure every time someone with an ass and set of tits rolls by, you’re imagination goes into overdrive, right?”

  “Sure it’s a distraction, but... I always think of Brenda.”

  “That’s sick, Lewis. She’s gone. You’re obsessing over a ghost. Don’t let it get worse.”

  He snorted. It was already worse. She had no idea.

  “You’ve got your instructions,” she insisted. “A date. Nothing more. I’m not asking you to get laid. I’m asking you to attempt to establish a normal social connection. I don’t even care if it’s Kaya. Ask anyone you want. No pressure.”

  “No pressure for you.”

  “Just do it. You’ll thank me later.”

  After ending the session, Lewis went shopping. Not because he wanted to, but because he had to. He bought himself some new clothes, picked up a variety of pre-packaged microwavable food, and went home to follow his laundry routine. All the while, he thought about his new ‘mission.’ Ezra was completely wrong. This was not helpful, it was another damn distraction. Fucking therapists. He’d fake the empathy report, but he’d already signed a contract never to lie to her. He should probably get a new therapist, but he’d been with Ezra for over a decade. Switching now would be too much trouble, and he had made progress. Or so she said…

  At home, he had a slew of notes to decipher. An overview of the project began the first document with an introduction, a statement of purpose, and an identification of the expected audience. He then moved into the history of the project, how it had begun, who had worked on it, what their motivations were, how they’d discovered the scanner could alter the electronegativity of specific neurons, thus forcing them to fire on demand. How they’d moved past that to altering the electronegativity of the environments surrou
nding the synapses. Charts and graphs from previous research made their way into a presentation. On page 44, he caught himself imagining Kaya Aoka naked on the floor of in his living room. Abruptly, his mind flashed to Brenda, replacing the vision, and he wept for ten minutes solid before regaining control. Emotionally purged, he was able to focus again.

  Lunchtime passed, and by dinner Lewis was famished. Eating a bowl of microwaved tikka masala over rice, he fueled himself with coffee and worked into the night, falling asleep with his head on the desk.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  In dark waters of the Puget Sound, a professional sailboat captain sat at the helm of the MSY ‘Attistar Majoris’ as she moved slowly through the cold wet evening, treading over the wake of a distant ferryboat. The bow rocked lightly. Water churned against the hull. Inside the upper cabin, Valon looked up from the book he was reading and stared through the windows at the lights in the distance. Chances were good he’d die in the next few minutes – committed to a watery grave with all hands aboard.

  He closed his eyes, visualizing the odds of success and failure as a series of probable outcomes. Death or life, both in equal measures, splayed their end results before him like bubbles in a bathtub of expensive gin. Flashes of his funeral eulogy. Flashes of news reports speaking of his life in past-tense. He focused on them, seeking the side-ways slant of the overlapping storylines. They entered his perception through ephemeral linkages and he pushed at them. Interfaces built into the fabric of reality collided. Objects farther up in the ring of storylines shunted visions of the near future and near past as they had or would have existed, all depending on the flavor of the simulations and their proximity in the ring.

  Because he was not ready to die, Valon altered the outcome. His death would have to wait. Heticus would, of course, notice his reluctance to perish and redouble his efforts. Even the system itself would try and counter his move. Fate, or what passed for fate in the endless ring, was elastic so long as deviation counters were not exceeded. This would buy him time, and the world would turn against him as payment.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Fathoms below, an improbable crack formed in the surface of the drone controlled by Martin Danson. A small manufacturing defect, unnoticed by the test engineers, allowed the deep pressure to force seawater into the electronics.

  In his office on-shore, the assassin struggled to regain control as shorts proceeded through the circuitry of the drone. Warning lights flared. Alarms sounded. Martin engaged the backup processors, but they also dropped offline. Catastrophic failure. Martin tried everything he could, but was finally forced to send the abort command. The screen went black, then flashed back on.

  “Connection Lost.”

  Martin slammed his fist on the desk in frustration. His comm center beeped for attention. A message came in.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Onboard the ship, Valon opened his eyes. What were the odds of that? He thought blithely. Next week - maybe then he would let his old disciples erase Valon Kang from existence, but not until he was ready and well on his way. First, there was a knife to sharpen.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Monday morning came as it always did, and Lewis now dreaded his bus commute. It wasn’t the smells, or the transfers, or the rain. It was the people. He found it difficult to ignore them. The tumult of voices competed with the thoughts in his head – thoughts he needed to hear. He put his earbuds in and activated audio suppression.

  A woman in blue hospital scrubs got on. It was standing room only. On impulse, he offered her his seat. She took it with a smile. Unfortunately, his butt was now in her face. An obese man shuffled out the rear exit. The bus bounced with his departure. A dirty vagrant in the front seat scratched at his greasy grey beard.

  Entering the Majutay Radionics building, Lewis made his way to his cubical and checked his mail. There were no pending requests. A note from Doctor Aoka said that he was being left alone to draft for the next few days, and that if he needed any further information on the project, he was to contact her. Doctor Graves would want to see an outline and an overview by the end of the week.

  Lewis let his eyes linger on Kaya’s words - If you need anything, let me know. He thought about Ezra’s orders and raised his hand to the keyboard.

  “Yes,” he typed. “I do need something, actually. I need a dinner companion. Perhaps you’d like to join me? It’s not that I’m lonely, it’s just that my therapist insists I ask someone on a date. She gave me an ultimatum. I have only two weeks. If I haven’t asked someone by then, she’ll probably increase my medication or recommend that I see a sexual therapist. There’s not much else she can do to me. I’d blow it off, but I’ve signed a contract to follow her advice no matter what. And a contract never to lie to her. And a contract not to kill myself. She’s big on contracts. It’s a technique of hers. I mean, it’s not as if she can sue me if I jump in front of a truck, but if I did, I feel like I wouldn’t be getting any better, and I need to get better. If I don’t, I’ll never meet someone wonderful like you and get over the death of my wife and son. Not that I’ll ever really get over that, but maybe I can move on? I don’t know.”

  Reading through the message, Lewis pinched his lips. He sounded like one very sick puppy. Kaya would probably file a restraining order. With a stroke of ‘CTRL-A / Delete’ he removed the offending text from his life. Too bad he couldn’t do the same to his brain. It would solve a lot of problems.

  Tagged

  On Tuesday morning, Lewis received a call not long after reaching his cubical. Looking at the screen, he felt his heart leap and his palms grow cold. It was Kaya Aoka. Anxious and hopeful all at once, he grabbed the phone and shoved it to his ear.

  “Good morning. This is Lewis,” he sputtered rapidly. Calm down, he thought to himself. You don’t have to ask her now.

  “Good morning, Mister Herman. Valon Kang has asked me to have you meet him in the Skykomish room as soon as you can. Doctor Trent is waiting and will meet you at the Basement level 2 elevator.”

  Nora Trent. Lewis frowned. Nora didn’t seem to like him for some reason, and he was fine with that. Rude people were easy to deal with. He had schemas for speaking with them. One just needed to stay professional. But he couldn’t understand why Nora was rude. “Thanks, Doctor,” he said to Kaya. “Um… do you know what it’s about?” It wasn’t a breach of protocol to ask. It was understandable curiosity.

  “No. But you shouldn’t keep Chairman Kang waiting. He’s a busy man, and this must be urgent or he would have called the secretary instead of me.”

  Lewis detected the sound of resentment in her tone. He got the feeling she ended up doing a lot of the jobs no one wanted. Given her qualifications, she was a little bitter about it. Understandable. “I agree. It’s not your job. You’re too important to be wasting your time. Sorry about that. Um… say… Kaya. Can I call you Kaya?”

  There was a short pause. “I think you should call me Doctor Aoka.” Her voice changed pitch. “At least at work.”

  “Right. Ahem… Sorry. Well, I wanted to ask you a, um…” It wasn’t a favor, he reminded himself. That could be misinterpreted. “A question,” he said. “About doing something after work when maybe… I could call you Kaya.”

  “What’s the question?”

  She sounded hesitant and her tone made him nervous. “Would you like to go out for dinner? Or maybe coffee sometime? Or maybe tea. Do you like tea?”

  Her voice changed again, this time more pleasant. “I like wine. There’s a place called the Bartholomew Winery not far from here.”

  Putting his hand over the receiver he took a deep breath. “That sounds great! Would you like to meet there after work?”

  “I’ll be there at 7:30.”

  “Fantastic. I’ll see you then. I’d better go meet with the Chairman.”

  “Yes. You should hurry. Good luck.”

  “Thanks.”

  Set
ting the receiver down, he felt like jumping and shouting. He’d done it! Good God, he’d actually asked Kaya on a date! Of course, now he had to actually go through with it, and that offered another level of stress. He couldn’t think about that now though. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much that was going to take his mind off emotional stimulation of this magnitude except burying his head in work, and he couldn’t. With any luck, Valon would have something deep enough to focus his mind. If not, then it would be difficult to pay attention to the old man.

  He grabbed his jacket and walked quickly to the elevator, trying not to grin.

  As expected, Doctor Trent was waiting for him with a scowl when the doors opened. “This way.” She turned immediately and swayed her hips in what had to be a subconscious exaggeration as she walked. Lewis paid no mind, thinking about what he should wear when he met with Kaya. The suit? No. Something causal, but not too casual. Should he bring flowers? That might be overkill. He should bring something though, or would that make him look desperate? He didn’t want to appear insanely awkward. Normal awkward was bad enough.

  “Do you know what this is about?” he asked Doctor Trent.

  “Yes.”

  She didn’t volunteer anything more. He wondered how much effort it required to act like a bitch. The energy levels could be lower, granting Nora reserve power for alternative emotional outlets. Like charging a battery, she fed on negativity until she reached potential. Perhaps then she would smile, but probably not. Reaching the door to the offices in B3, she put her hand on the scanner. As the light flashed over her fingertips, Lewis ventured further. “Can you tell me what Valon wants?”

  “No. I’ve been given explicit instructions. Just keep your mouth shut and follow me. I’ll tell you more in a minute, Lewis.”